I love going to Costco.  Who doesn’t?  It’s so much fun to marvel at the giant packages of the products.  Whoa!  Who knew Ritz Crackers came in a box of 5,000.  And I like knowing that if I ever need a 55-gallon drum of Skippy, it’s there for me.

Now imagine if Costco were an insurance company.  There’s no way it would function like a regular insurance company.  It wouldn’t know how.  It would only know how to be, well, Costco.  You could expect to see Costco Property & Casualty Insurance Company operate like this:

• Insureds are not mailed a Declarations Page.  Rather, they are given directions where to drive to see their Dec page on a billboard on the side of the highway.

• When a reservation of rights letter is sent, also included is a box of 50 copies.

• Claims are paid with those giant checks used to show off prizes and charitable contributions.

• Claim numbers are 64 digits.

• When the company has a duty to defend, it hires three law firms for the insured.

• When a mediation takes place in New York City, the Costco adjuster requires that his or her breakout room be Madison Square Garden.

• In cost sharing, adjusters pout when they don’t have the largest share.

• The company always takes a multiple occurrences position.

• Like Allstate, the company’s advertising spokesperson is also called Mayhem Man.  It’s King Kong.

• Policies are drafted by Tolstoy.