For the past eight Januarys I have published an article called “Coverage For Dummies.” It is a review of the best cases, from the year just-concluded, involving people who did, well, really dumb stuff, and then turned around and sought insurance coverage for their consequences.

Liability insurance is, by definition, a product that provides financial protection when things don’t turn out as planned. Most of the time when this occurs it’s simply a case of bad luck or because, well, stuff just happens. But there are other times when liability claims don’t arise simply because stuff just happens. Instead, the claims are the result of peoples’ actions that were so ill-conceived or Tom foolhardy that a liability claim was as predictable as day following night.

Eventually the incredulous behavior leads to a lawsuit, which leads to an insurance claim, which leads to a coverage dispute, which leads to a reported decision, which leads to the final stage of this insurance circle of life -- an appearance in “Coverage For Dummies.”

This year, instead of looking at the best Dummies cases of 2016, I have taken a different tack -- creating the “Coverage For Dummies” Hall Of Fame. These are the cases that make even the dumbest people look as cautious as Felix Unger.

I have gone back over the past eight years of “Coverage for Dummies” and selected the following 28 cases as the inaugural members. In future installments I will note if an entry is being included in the Dummies Hall of Fame. These are in no particular order – except the last one, which is the greatest Dummies case I have ever had.

“Coverage For Dummies” Hall of Fame

Motivational speaker seeks coverage for injuries sustained by a program participant when, at the repeated urgings of the speaker, the participant attempted to break a board with her hands. Ouch. Reese v. Alea London Ltd., No. 3:07-cv-1402, 2008 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 29951 (D.S.C. Apr. 11, 2008).

Driver injures a person with his automobile, then exits the vehicle and strikes the victim three times with a golf club, breaking three ribs -- all in response to the victim entering the insured’s property to retrieve a baseball accidentally hit onto the insured’s property by the victim’s son. Whatever happened to just yelling -- Get off my lawn. Farmers Auto. Ins. Ass’n. v. Danner, No. 4-08-0905, 2009 Ill. App. Lexis 992 (Ill. App. Ct. Sept. 3, 2009).

Serious bodily injuries sustained by motorists that drove off the road, after swerving to avoid hitting a target deer that a group of high school friends had placed 15 to 30 yards beyond the crest of a hill, at night, in the middle of an unlit two-lane roadway, with a speed limit of 55 m.p.h. Why did they say they did this? To observe the reactions of motorists suddenly confronted with an obstruction directly in front of them. Allstate Ins. Co. v. Campbell, No. 09AP-306, 2009 Ohio App. Lexis 5096 (Ohio Ct. App. Nov. 17, 2009).

What not to allegedly do at a little league game – sit behind home plate, in the lowest row of the bleachers, and tell the catcher, who is someone else’s son, that he is making too many mistakes. And especially don’t do it six or seven times in one inning. And double especially don’t do it if you need a cane to walk. Baggett v. Allstate Ins. Co., 39 So. 3d 666 (La. Ct. App. 2010).

What else not to allegedly do at a little league game, in particular when you are the league president – assault a spectator causing multiple facial fractures, including a broken nose, septum and permanent nerve damage. And double especially don’t do it when the spectator is Grandmom Nellie – a player’s nana. Nellie Ellison v. Kentucky Farm Bureau Mut. Ins. Co., No. 2009-CA-116, 2010 Ky. App. Unpub. LEXIS 567 (Ky. App. Ct. July 9, 2010).

How much pain can you endure? You don’t know? Well then I’ll just shoot you in the wrist and we’ll find out. Auto Club Group Ins. Co. v. Booth, 797 N.W.2d 695 (Mich. Ct. App. 2010).

If you want to dance and wave an ice cream scooper while doing karaoke, don’t let it fly out of her hand. Nationwide Mutual Fire Insurance Company v. Kim, 669 S.E.2d 517 (Ga. Ct. App. 2008).

Insurer not entitled to discovery of records from insured’s wife’s psychologist, in an attempt to prove that no coverage was owed to insured-husband, for eye injuries sustained by his wife when he threw a carrot at her. Wait, I thought carrots were good for your eyes. Safeco Ins. Co. of Am. v. Vecsey, 259 F.R.D. 23 (D. Conn. 2009).

What not to say in a letter of recommendation for an anesthesiologist whom you fired after suspecting that he was diverting demerol for personal use and whom you found passed out in the break room from taking valium: an “excellent anesthesiologist” and “highly” recommended. Preau v. St. Paul Fire & Marine Ins. Co., No. 09-4252, 2010 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 77210 (E.D. La. July 30, 2010).

Insured responded to a property line dispute by attaching to the fence at issue life-sized paper targets cut into the shape of human beings and riddled with bullet holes. And that was probably his tamest response. Browning v. American Family Mut. Ins. Co., No. 09-1375, 2010 U.S. App. LEXIS 19697 (10th Cir. Sept. 22, 2010) (applying Colorado law).

Public storage company makes repairs to the ceiling in a storage unit. Good news doctor, we fixed the ceiling. Bad news – we accidentally disposed of those 600 boxes of medical and financial records you had in there. Zurich American Ins. Co. v. Public Storage, 743 F. Supp. 2d 525 (E.D. Va. 2010).

In a category that always has a lot of contenders – Bad Bar Security – the award goes to Rizzi v. United States Liability Ins. Co., No. 095010775S, 2010 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1808 (Conn. Super. Ct. July 13, 2010): Patron spends six hours in a gentlemen’s club drinking, locks himself in the men’s room for 30 minutes, emerges completely naked, after which club employees tie his pants around his waist, wrap his head in a shirt and ridicule him as he is escorted out of the establishment, whereupon he falls down an embankment and is killed.

A teeny weenie misunderstanding between neighbors, who speak English as a second language, as to the difference between “cutting” and “trimming” trees. Oops. State Farm Fire & Cas. Co. v. Kwing On Ng, No. 64515-3-I, 2011 Wash. App. LEXIS 722 (Wash. Ct. App. Mar. 28, 2011).

Court addressed coverage for insured for claims that he hired an underage woman to assist him with testing sex toys. Keely v. Fire Ins. Exchange, No. 10-13707, 2011 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 69500 (E.D. Mich. June 28, 2011).

Court addressed coverage for claims against a real estate agent that showed a house -- and that’s not all he showed -- while its owners were out of the country. Warning: Purell required. See Safeco Ins. Co. v. Skar, No. 10-4789, 2011 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 82548 (D. Minn. July 27, 2011).

In a category that always has a lot of contenders – Fights Between Neighbors – the award goes to Hartford Underwriters Ins. Co. v. Masters, Nos. 10-629 and 11-174, 2011 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 59306 (D. Hawaii June 2, 2011): insured shined spot lights on a neighbor’s property that were of such high intensity that they interfered with the targeted neighbors’ sleeping patterns and presented a danger to the Native Hawaiian shearwater birds in the area.

Friendly ritual between buddies of hitting each other in the groin goes just a little too far. As mom always said, it’s all fun and games -- until someone suffers a hematocele on the right scrotum. State Farm Gen. Ins. Co. v. Frake, 197 Cal.App. 4th 568 (2011).

Two nimrods, as part of a celebration of the upcoming birth of a child of one of the nimrods, held a party – a “diaper shootout” -- where guests could bring diapers for the new baby and enjoy an afternoon shooting guns. As a grand finale they decided to blow up an old refrigerator. Guests stood behind tables fifty meters away from the refrigerator -- with explosives placed inside. Upon firing at the refrigerator it immediately blew apart and sent shrapnel flying across the yard. A piece of shrapnel hit a guest’s hand, nearly severing it. Yikes. This guy is going to be a parent. Blank-Greer v. Tannerite Sports, LLC, No. 13-1266 (N.D. Ohio Apr. 21, 2015).

When you intentionally hit someone with your car, even if you just slowly roll forward into them, you cannot avoid the “intentional act” exclusion by maintaining that “it was nothing” and concluding that any sober person could and would have moved. Oh, did I mention, the victim was missing part of one leg and using crutches. See Hurst v. Southern Farm Bureau Cas. Ins. Co., No. 11-162, 2011 Ark. App. LEXIS 701 (Ark. App. Ct. Nov. 2, 2011).

Dentist used street cocaine to anesthetize a patient’s gums during a root canal procedure. I would have commented on this, except I’m speechless. Physicians Ins. Co. of Wisconsin v. Williams, 279 P.3d 174 (Nev. 2012).

Injury caused when an insured used his pickup truck and a pulley in an attempt to lift a portable toilet onto a deer stand. Hays v. Georgia Farm Bureau Mut. Ins. Co., 722 S.E.2d 923 (Ga. Ct. App. 2012).

In an attempt to annoy his girlfriend, insured repeatedly grabbed the steering while she was driving. When she tried to push him away she lost control of the car and hit a concrete wall. It would have been safer to just ask, every five minutes – are we almost there? Sunshine State Ins. Co. v. Jones, 77 So. 3d 254 (Fla. Ct. App. 2012).

Mom was out shopping and sisters were arguing. So far nothing out of the ordinary. Then sixteen year old Francesca retaliated against her thirteen year old sister, Gabriella, by pushing a lit piece of paper into a vent connecting their bedrooms. Get this--the house caught fire and was extensively damaged. Francesca then posted pictures of the damaged house on Facebook and got 37 Likes. [I made that part up.] Remy v. Travelers Home & Marine Ins. Co., No. 11-3564, 2013 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 81701 (N.D. Ill. June 11, 2013).

No coverage owed to insured (seemingly a teenager) for giving his friend a “ball tap” – a forearm to the testicles -- a common way amongst their group of friends to let one know that he is doing something stupid. Court held that expected or intended exclusion precluded coverage, despite that the ball-tapper only meant to cause his friend five seconds of pain -- and not the need for emergency surgery and possible permanent infertility. These types of accident cases are often tough nuts to crack. American National Prop. & Cas. Cos. v. Hearn, 93 A.3d 880 (Pa. Super. Ct. 2014).

Insured bit off a portion of someone’s nose in a bar fight. What started this, you wonder? One woman pretended “to borrow” a cigarette out of another woman’s purse. That’s why the box says right on it that smoking can be hazardous to your health. Metropolitan Prop. & Cas. Ins. Co. v. Nieto, No. 13-5805, 2014 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 90658 (W.D. Wash. July 2, 2014).

Priest counseled a parishioner about marriage troubles -- and told him not to try to save the marriage – when, at such time, the priest was having an intimate relationship with the parishioner’s wife. That’s not all. Then the priest’s supervisors directed him to leave the country to avoid suit. OMG. Drew v. Church Mutual Ins. Co., No. 13-cv-01906, 2014 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 73562 (D.N.J. May 29, 2014).

Dad’s 8 year old son was playing with friends and wanted to get some sparklers out of the car. Dad used his keyless remote to open the door but did not follow his son to the car – nor check up on him for the next few hours. It turns out that his son didn’t retrieve just sparklers from the car (as if that would have been OK) but bottle rockets too. One of the kids lit a bottle rocket that hit another in the eye. Nobody will confuse this guy for Ward Cleaver. Auto Club Property Casualty Ins. Co. v. B.T., 596 Fed. Appx. 409 (6th Cir. 2015).

And now the greatest Dummies Case since 2008:

Female manager of a cosmetics manufacturer, determined to figure out who left a sanitary napkin in the bathroom and blood around the toilet seat, forced female employees to pull down their underwear so that another (female) employee could inspect whether they were wearing a sanitary napkin. I can’t imagine anything ever topping this – Period. Davler v. Arch Ins. Co., No. B252830, 2014 Cal. App. Unpub. LEXIS 6083 (Cal. Ct. App. Aug. 25, 2014).