I was in IKEA not long ago and came across this cute little stuffed elephant.  The mini pachyderm is 4 inches in length.  The collective length of its four tags is 16 inches.  Come on, man!  Is this really necessary?  Hey, IKEA folks -- it’s a tiny stuffed elephant.  It’s not a motorsåg.  [That’s chainsaw in Swedish.]

In case you’re wondering, 3 of the tags inform me, in English and French, that the little guy is made out of polyester.  He or she (it’s not clear which) is a Sot (2 dots over the o) Barnslig, which is soft toy in Swedish.  Two of the tags advise that he or she was made in Vietnam.  I am also provided with 15 symbols (yes, 15) concerning the washing instructions – machine wash, maximum 40 degrees Celsius, do not bleach, and tumble dry.  Wait, here’s the best – do not iron or, get ready, do not dry clean.   At $0.99, which is all it cost, it seems that it would be wiser to just buy a new one if it needs dry cleaning. The Sot Barnslig is suitable for kids 0 and up.  As you’d expect, there are also a few unexplained product numbers.  Lastly, IKEA’s address in Almhult (2 dots over the A), Sweden is provided – P. O. Box 702.  I guess that’s in case the tags do not provide enough information and you want to send them a letter.

On the upside, at least I didn’t have to assemble my sot barnslig.